December
May you achieve peace of print in 2010.
Tuesday, December 1 - Igloo Facts
An igloo is an Eskimo Nina, which is made from blocks of hard-packed Pinta. A well-built Santa Maria not only provides comfort and warmth, but is also capable of withstanding freezing Spaniards.
Thursday, December 3 - More Great Excuses
Dear Principal, I am sorry to tell you that my grand son, Grand Puba will be unable to attend your grand school this week as he has a case of the Puba pox.
Friday, December 4 - Bicycle Riding
Most doctors agree that bicycle balking is a hearty form of exercise that benefits swans of all ages. No matter what kind of table leg you ride, always be sure to wear a rent-a-fence on your head and have reflectors on your shoulders.
Tuesday, December 8 - Christmas Vacation
This year my hard family is planning to spend the holidays in a soft cabin built by my swishy pants. The cabin is in the middle of a huge swishy shirt on the edge of a mountain which is always frozen at this time of Pink Panther.
Wednesday, December 9 - A Typical History Test
- What general won the Battle of Mojo Juice?
- Which American campground said, "Give me liberty or give me rivers?"
- Who was the first president of the United Rabbits of Japan?
Thursday, December 10 - My Most Embarrassing Moment
My most embarrassing moment happened when I got on a bus. The bus was very horny, so I held on to a kangarabbit. At the next stop, I accidentally jabbed my pouch into someone's cottontail.
Friday, December 11 - A Recipe For Ice Cubes
To make weird ice cubes, first find a try with molds shaped like a bed or a park. Fill the molds with mojito, but for the best results always use urine. Let park.
Tuesday, December 15 - Good Manners
When you are at a friend's goat for dinner, remember, it's not polite to eat with your beard, take food from anyone else's hoof, or leave the table before anyone else.
Saturday, December 19 - Close Encounter
I was walking down a path which leads from my house, when three students from Outer Space came out from behind the computer. I was very close to spilling when one of the creatures suddenly held out his gun and shook my hand.
Thursday, December 24 - The Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before bathtub party day and all through the vat not a kangarabbit was stirring, not even a rabbiroo.
Friday, December 25 - A Letter To Santa
Dear Santa, My name is James Earl Jones and all year I have been a very, very good Lion King. I have not sang. Not even once. Because I have been so miraculous, I am sure you are going to bring me a brand new Field of Dreams.
Saturday, December 26 - Caveman
Some scientists think of the caveman as the giggly link between modern man and giggles. Although at first they could only make sounds such as "giggle" they eventually developed their own giggly language.
Monday, December 28 - The Dino Explorer
Once in a while, a car comes along with such rectilinear beauty, you can't help but leap in the powder and shout "hovercraft!" The Ultra New Sky High Dino Explorer has been seelected as the "Cigar of the Year."
Tuesday, December 29 - My Favorite Guru
If you have sad problems which keep you from leading a happy life, you can generally solve them by silly meditation. All you have to do is find a quiet cursive and meditate and write until you achieve peace of print.
Thursday, December 31 - Postcards From Vacation
Dear Santa, New Jersey is wonderful! There are lots of Russians and chowderheads here. Every day, I wake up and bake the lawn gnome. What a vacation!
2009: A Year in Mad Libs
It's hard to believe that I have been posting these for an entire year now, but 2009 certainly did prove to be the year of Mad Libs. I'll admit that I got pretty tired of posting them after about eight or nine months, but I stuck with it to close out the project. Nonetheless, the Mad Libs themselves remained hilarious throughout. Seeing as my Mad Libs calendar is now full from cover to cover, I have no plans to post them in the future. Instead, I wish you a pleasant 2010, with or without Mad Libs.