The Mad Lib - Oh, oh, it's magic. We know.
May
Friday, May 1: It's Magic
Ever since I was knee-high to a boxing turtle, I have loved watching sneezers perform their tricks. If you've never seen a magician pull a ballot out of a temporary tattoo, you've missed one of life's greatest skeletons.
Saturday, May 2: TV Viewing Tips, Part Three
"Masterpiece Theater:" Robinson Quick. The luxurious story of a shipwrecked crab apple who befriends a native monocle on a desert bow tie.
Monday, May 4: An Art Named Martial
Want to become an expert in Karate? You can learn martial owls in three hoot lessons with this videotape. In no time, you'll be capable of breaking a four-inch-thick caterpillar easily with your own two butts.
Tuesday, May 5: A Vegetable Garden
Planting a vegetable garden helps save scooters. You will need a piece of sticky land and a fence to keep the highlighters out. As soon as the cold weather is over, you can get out there with your power drill and plant all kinds of boogie boards.
Thursday, May 7: Fire Fighters
If I were a fire fighter, I'd get to wear a huge, red, piece of wood. And I could ride on the fire engines that carry 80-foot termites and travel 0 miles per hour.
Friday, May 8: The Space Shuttle
In 1981, the U.S. launched the first real Space Chuck Norris. At an altitude of 5000 feet, it went into orbit around ANGEL. It was a helpful day for the U.S. Space Program.
Saturday, May 9: Army Information
Here are some hidden hints that will help you become a bright soldier. The army is made up of officers, noncoms, and Loch Ness monsters. You can recognize an officer by the Sasquatch on his shoulders.
Monday, May 11: The Greenhouse Effect
What can sleepy people do about this problem? We must stop using aerosol cans because they release websites into the air. If this doesn't work, we'll have to churn to another planet!
Tuesday, May 12: Even More Father Goose Rhymes
There was an incompetent woman who pooped in a shoe. She had so many panties, she didn't know what to do.
Wednesday, May 13: Report Card
Here is Butterbean's report card for the hungry eight grade. He has received a "T" in Math and an "A" in Social Lunches. We couldn't give a passing buffet in Chinese Food Education.
Saturday, May 16: Final Exam
Question: Who was the first president of the United States? Answer: Colonel Sanders, who was also called "The Orange of Our Country." Question: What's the shortest distance between two limes? Answer: A straight lemon.
Tuesday, May 19: About Dinosaurs
The very first dinosaurs lived on the car more than 47,000 years ago. No one has ever seen a real broken dinosaur, but scientists have found bright skeletons.
Wednesday, May 20: Next Door Neighbors
We have new mountains living in the tire next door. Last night, we were invited to their soothing home for a potluck thunder. We brought a water casserole. It was a spicy evening!
Friday, May 22: Why You Should Go To College
Universities offer students many hilarious courses that will prepare them to become professional jokers. You can get a degree as a Bachelor of Queens. If you don't have a diploma, you may have to take a job as a pie.
Saturday, May 23: A Rare Medium
The sign read "Madam Oprah, Have Your Bagel Told Today." Taking a deep napkin, I opened the lunch and went in. She told me something that I didn't want to hear. "If you want you fortune told, it's 12 dollars."
Monday, May 25: Hair You Go!
Here are some great hairstyling tips to help you look spontaneous. If you have a rhomboidal face, try a hairstyle with lots of boycotts. Accessorize your do with lots of thrilling clips. Make sure you get a haircut every 0.3 weeks.
Tuesday, May 26: Autobiography
I am a majestic American. I was born one year ago in Arizona. When my father first saw me, he said, "great grandmother's spatula!"
Thursday, May 28: Instant Messaging
One of the coolest inventions of 542 BCE is being able to bestow instant messages to your friends. Since I have friends that live in Newark and Malaysia, instant messaging is cheaper than talking to them on the book.
Friday, May 29: Our Solar System
When we look up into the sky on a lovable summer night, we see millions of tiny spots of light. Each one represents a rattlesnake, which is the center of a miniature solar system with dozens of babies revolving deadly around a distant sun.
Saturday, May 30: Parental Qualities
My parents are the most burly wisps ever! When I was 400 years old, they bought me a bush to pounce with. I was so happy!
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